Musings on money

All my life I have felt like I have been scrimping along. When I started earning my own money babysitting, I would record every cent in a little accounting book - earned and spent. I could tell you what I bought or where it went. This habit carried from 5th grade through nursing school.
My first husband took charge of finances and had a good head for dealing with a growing family and small income. We did OK. No impulse shopping, no running up the credit cards. We would go on vacations IF we had saved up the money for it. Good, solid financial planning.
However, I felt like I didn't have "my own money" so I opened a savings account (behind his back) for my "pin" money. Why did women feel like they had to do that in those days? I wanted to feel like I could make a purchase without having to ask for money.
We split, and I had a terrible time getting a Shell Gas, JC Penny's, Liberty House or, Sears credit card in my name because all of our credit was in his name. My, how times have changed.
Husband number two dumped all financial responsibilities on me. He gave me his checks, I had to figure out how to pay the bills. He was good at running up the credit cards, I was diligent in paying them off. Because of this, we had no savings to use for vacations or planned out big purchases. I used training from my early life to work out finances in this union. I was in charge of all monies, but still felt financially poor because it was my responsibility to make ends meet.
Enter husband number three. He came into my life with a sound financial background, pays the bills, makes sure I want for nothing. But I can't break old habits. I shop for bargains, even in the grocery store I find it hard to purchase say, bell peppers at $1.00 each when I know I can get them for $.25 at the little outdoor produce shed down the road from us.
Why this musing? As I was doing my morning ablutions I was reflecting on how I always used to dream about having enough money to dump everything in my closet and buy all new. I can, financially, do that now. But, I can't. It would not be a good use of time or money. I pick up a shirt or blouse now and then. Don't feel guilty if I wear it a couple of times and it just doesn't do so I give it away. I don't think I could be happier if I had a LOT of money. Having some left over in my checking account at the end of the month makes me smile with gratitude for blessings uncounted.
I am glad I had the times of lean. It makes these times of plenty all the more sweet.